Things I Crave: Spring Florals

 

This is the first Things I Crave post! I wanted to share with my readers awesome things I have found in the world. I will do a Things I Crave post at least once a month.

The "things" will range from products, music, TV shows or even things I find when I'm out & about in the world. I thought this would also be a great way to highlight great products, especially from small crafters selling their homemade goods.

10 Offbeat Romantic Movies to Watch on Valentine's Day

I love movies. And often, I love the weird, offbeat movies more than anything. So I decided to share a list of romantic movies that doesn't include The Notebook (I'm not judging if you like The Notebook, it's just not for me).
This list is perfect for helping you decide on a great movie to see with your sweetheart on Valentine's Day. I'm sure if you're like me, you'll spend your Valentine's Day sitting at home (hoping your child will stay asleep so you and your sugar-lips can cuddle). I'm sure you'll find a great movie on this list to entertain you both.

Our Favorite Bedtime Books

My kiddo loves books! And he always has. Even as a baby, he'd reach for books before toys. These days, he's found a love for toys, but he still craves stories.
Today I thought I'd share our favorite bedtime books. Not only does my toddler love these books, but I do too. These stories have a common bedtime theme and help calm my toddler, easing him into our night routine. So, in no particular order:

Summer Corn: Recipe Roundup

One of the first things my husband got excited about, as we moved closer and closer to our new home in Colorado, was fresh sweet corn. We both lived in Nebraska for a time and the summer sweet corn was one of the highlights of knowing a lot of farmers. My husband even swears that no other corn is as good as Nebraska sweet corn!
We were lucky enough to snag a bunch from my sister-in-law (she comes from a farming family). I don't mind basic corn on the cob, but eventually, I'm going to need something new and exciting to make it through all this corn! So I decided to round-up some delicious corn recipes from around the web.

Fresh Peaches: Recipe Roundup

Ah! Summertime! One of the great things about Summer is the delicious fruits and veggies. One of the not-so-great things about Summer is watching my toddler refuse to eat those delicious fruits and veggies.
I love peaches. And peach flavored stuff! In fact, I could go for a frozen Peach Daquiri right about now. But that requires rum, which I do not have and I don't want to put pants on to go buy some. I recently bought some peaches for us to eat and **surprise, surprise** the toddler doesn't like them. He's nuts! Well, I had to come up with a way to finish these peaches off before they go bad. And I thought I'd share a few of the recipes I found on Pinterest to use fresh peaches.

I've Joined A Photography Class

I'm a grieving mother. My babies passed away only a few weeks ago.

And it hurts so, so badly.

I've been searching the internet for relief. I've found quite a few great resources I can turn to during my time of need.

Recently, I came across Illuminate. Illuminate is a four-week photography class focused on the grief from infant loss.

At first, probably out of fear, I just looked at the above link. A few days later I actually signed up. And yesterday I received my first assignment. So I guess I'm doing this.

I'll be posting my assignments here to save & read for the rest of my blog life.

Wish me luck... I'm guessing there is going be a lot of crying in the next four weeks.

TTC Videos

Howdy!

This will be a quickie... if you don't mind.

I'm just letting you all know that I have 4 videos on my YouTube and I've been updating that more than the main blog because right now... that's what we are most focused on.

If you click on the TTC button up there you will find my videos and some other links (helpful if you too are TTC).

So check it out! Subscribe! Comment!

Follow Me!

Life Under Clover Pinterest Screen Shot

I'm on Pinterest all the time!

In fact, it's kind of an addiction. There is so much on there! And if it isn't on there, you can add it!

For those who aren't sure what the hell Pinterest is... I like to describe it as inspiration boards. Each photo links back to a website... sometimes there are instructions for making a recipe or creating an item or buying an item.

It's wonderful if you're a visual person and need to see things before deciding if you like them or not (an example is that when I search for stuff on Google... I usually look at the images that pop up first).

Anyhow, I love Pinterest and you should follow me because I'm always curating wonderful things to share!

If you haven't signed up yet... click here!

Infertility Etiquette from RESOLVE

This is copied from the RESOLVE website. I'm sharing it all here because it's important... the message is so important. The link to the full article is at the bottom.

Don't Tell Them to Relax

Everyone knows someone who had trouble conceiving but then finally became pregnant once she "relaxed." Couples who are able to conceive after a few months of "relaxing" are not infertile. By definition, a couple is not diagnosed as "infertile" until they have tried unsuccessfully to become pregnant for a full year. In fact, most infertility specialists will not treat a couple for infertility until they have tried to become pregnant for a year. This year weeds out the people who aren't infertile but just need to "relax." Those that remain are truly infertile.

Comments such as "just relax" or "try going on a cruise" create even more stress for the infertile couple, particularly the woman. The woman feels like she is doing something wrong when, in fact, there is a good chance that there is a physical problem preventing her from becoming pregnant.

These comments can also reach the point of absurdity. As a couple, my husband and I underwent two surgeries, numerous inseminations, hormone treatments, and four years of poking and prodding by doctors. Yet, people still continued to say things like, "If you just relaxed on a cruise . . ." Infertility is a diagnosable medical problem that must be treated by a doctor, and even with treatment, many couples will NEVER successfully conceive a child. Relaxation itself does not cure medical infertility.

Don't Minimize the Problem

Failure to conceive a baby is a very painful journey. Infertile couples are surrounded by families with children. These couples watch their friends give birth to two or three children, and they watch those children grow while the couple goes home to the silence of an empty house. These couples see all of the joy that a child brings into someone's life, and they feel the emptiness of not being able to experience the same joy.

Comments like, "Just enjoy being able to sleep late . . . .travel . . etc.," do not offer comfort. Instead, these comments make infertile people feel like you are minimizing their pain. You wouldn't tell somebody whose parent just died to be thankful that he no longer has to buy Father's Day or Mother's Day cards. Losing that one obligation doesn't even begin to compensate for the incredible loss of losing a parent. In the same vein, being able to sleep late or travel does not provide comfort to somebody who desperately wants a child.

Don't Say There Are Worse Things That Could Happen

Along the same lines, don't tell your friend that there are worse things that she could be going through. Who is the final authority on what is the "worst" thing that could happen to someone? Is it going through a divorce? Watching a loved one die? Getting raped? Losing a job?

Different people react to different life experiences in different ways. To someone who has trained his whole life for the Olympics, the "worst" thing might be experiencing an injury the week before the event. To someone who has walked away from her career to become a stay-at-home wife for 40 years, watching her husband leave her for a younger woman might be the "worst" thing. And, to a woman whose sole goal in life has been to love and nurture a child, infertility may indeed be the "worst" thing that could happen.

People wouldn't dream of telling someone whose parent just died, "It could be worse: both of your parents could be dead." Such a comment would be considered cruel rather than comforting. In the same vein, don't tell your friend that she could be going through worse things than infertility.

Don't Say They Aren't Meant to Be Parents

One of the cruelest things anyone ever said to me is, "Maybe God doesn't intend for you to be a mother." How incredibly insensitive to imply that I would be such a bad mother that God felt the need to divinely sterilize me. If God were in the business of divinely sterilizing women, don't you think he would prevent the pregnancies that end in abortions? Or wouldn't he sterilize the women who wind up neglecting and abusing their children? Even if you aren't religious, the "maybe it's not meant to be" comments are not comforting. Infertility is a medical condition, not a punishment from God or Mother Nature.

Don't Ask Why They Aren't Trying IVF

In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a method in which the woman harvests multiple eggs, which are then combined with the man's sperm in a petri dish. This is the method that can produce multiple births. People frequently ask, "Why don't you just try IVF?" in the same casual tone they would use to ask, "Why don't you try shopping at another store?"

Don't Be Crude

It is appalling that I even have to include this paragraph, but some of you need to hear this-Don't make crude jokes about your friend's vulnerable position. Crude comments like "I'll donate the sperm" or "Make sure the doctor uses your sperm for the insemination" are not funny, and they only irritate your friends.

Don't Complain About Your Pregnancy

This message is for pregnant women-Just being around you is painful for your infertile friends. Seeing your belly grow is a constant reminder of what your infertile friend cannot have. Unless an infertile women plans to spend her life in a cave, she has to find a way to interact with pregnant women. However, there are things you can do as her friend to make it easier.

The number one rule is DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR PREGNANCY. I understand from my friends that, when you are pregnant, your hormones are going crazy and you experience a lot of discomfort, such as queasiness, stretch marks, and fatigue. You have every right to vent about the discomforts to any one else in your life, but don't put your infertile friend in the position of comforting you.

Your infertile friend would give anything to experience the discomforts you are enduring because those discomforts come from a baby growing inside of you. When I heard a pregnant woman complain about morning sickness, I would think, "I'd gladly throw up for nine straight months if it meant I could have a baby." When a pregnant woman would complain about her weight gain, I would think, "I would cut off my arm if I could be in your shoes."

I managed to go to baby showers and hospitals to welcome my friends' new babies, but it was hard. Without exception, it was hard. Stay sensitive to your infertile friend's emotions, and give her the leeway that she needs to be happy for you while she cries for herself. If she can't bring herself to hold your new baby, give her time. She isn't rejecting you or your new baby; she is just trying to work her way through her pain to show sincere joy for you. The fact that she is willing to endure such pain in order to celebrate your new baby with you speaks volumes about how much your friendship means to her.

Don't Treat Them Like They Are Ignorant

For some reason, some people seem to think that infertility causes a person to become unrealistic about the responsibilities of parenthood. I don't follow the logic, but several people told me that I wouldn't ache for a baby so much if I appreciated how much responsibility was involved in parenting.

Let's face it-no one can fully appreciate the responsibilities involved in parenting until they are, themselves, parents. That is true whether you successfully conceived after one month or after 10 years. The length of time you spend waiting for that baby does not factor in to your appreciation of responsibility. If anything, people who have been trying to become pregnant longer have had more time to think about those responsibilities. They have also probably been around lots of babies as their friends started their families.

Perhaps part of what fuels this perception is that infertile couples have a longer time to "dream" about what being a parent will be like. Like every other couple, we have our fantasies-my child will sleep through the night, would never have a tantrum in public, and will always eat his vegetables. Let us have our fantasies. Those fantasies are some of the few parent-to-be perks that we have-let us have them. You can give us your knowing looks when we discover the truth later.

Don't Gossip About Your Friend's Condition

Infertility treatments are very private and embarrassing, which is why many couples choose to undergo these treatments in secret. Men especially are very sensitive to letting people know about infertility testing, such as sperm counts. Gossiping about infertility is not usually done in a malicious manner. The gossipers are usually well-meaning people who are only trying to find out more about infertility so they can help their loved ones.

Regardless of why you are sharing this information with someone else, it hurts and embarrasses your friend to find out that Madge the bank teller knows what your husband's sperm count is and when your next period is expected. Infertility is something that should be kept as private as your friend wants to keep it. Respect your friend's privacy, and don't share any information that your friend hasn't authorized.

Don't Push Adoption (Yet)

Adoption is a wonderful way for infertile people to become parents. (As an adoptive parent, I can fully vouch for this!!) However, the couple needs to work through many issues before they will be ready to make an adoption decision. Before they can make the decision to love a "stranger's baby," they must first grieve the loss of that baby with Daddy's eyes and Mommy's nose. Adoption social workers recognize the importance of the grieving process. When my husband and I went for our initial adoption interview, we expected the first question to be, "Why do you want to adopt a baby?" Instead, the question was, "Have you grieved the loss of your biological child yet?" Our social worker emphasized how important it is to shut one door before you open another.

You do, indeed, need to grieve this loss before you are ready to start the adoption process. The adoption process is very long and expensive, and it is not an easy road. So, the couple needs to be very sure that they can let go of the hope of a biological child and that they can love an adopted baby. This takes time, and some couples are never able to reach this point. If your friend cannot love a baby that isn't her "own," then adoption isn't the right decision for her, and it is certainly not what is best for the baby.

Mentioning adoption in passing can be a comfort to some couples. (The only words that ever offered me comfort were from my sister, who said, "Whether through pregnancy or adoption, you will be a mother one day.") However, "pushing" the issue can frustrate your friend. So, mention the idea in passing if it seems appropriate, and then drop it. When your friend is ready to talk about adoption, she will raise the issue herself.

So, what can you say to your infertile friends? Unless you say "I am giving you this baby," there is nothing you can say that will erase their pain. So, take that pressure off of yourself. It isn't your job to erase their pain, but there is a lot you can do to lesson the load. Here are a few ideas.

Let Them Know That You Care

The best thing you can do is let your infertile friends know that you care. Send them cards. Let them cry on your shoulder. If they are religious, let them know you are praying for them. Offer the same support you would offer a friend who has lost a loved one. Just knowing they can count on you to be there for them lightens the load and lets them know that they aren't going through this alone.

Remember Them on Mother's Day

With all of the activity on Mother's Day, people tend to forget about women who cannot become mothers. Mother's Day is an incredibly painful time for infertile women. You cannot get away from it-There are ads on the TV, posters at the stores, church sermons devoted to celebrating motherhood, and all of the plans for celebrating with your own mother and mother-in-law.

Mother's Day is an important celebration and one that I relish now that I am a mother. However, it was very painful while I was waiting for my baby. Remember your infertile friends on Mother's Day, and send them a card to let them know you are thinking of them. They will appreciate knowing that you haven't "forgotten" them.

Support Their Decision to Stop Treatments

No couple can endure infertility treatments forever. At some point, they will stop. This is an agonizing decision to make, and it involves even more grief. Even if the couple chooses to adopt a baby, they must still first grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy's nose and daddy's eyes.

Once the couple has made the decision to stop treatments, support their decision. Don't encourage them to try again, and don't discourage them from adopting, if that is their choice. Once the couple has reached resolution (whether to live without children, adopt a child, or become foster parents), they can finally put that chapter of their lives behind them. Don't try to open that chapter again.

http://www.resolve.org/support-and-services/for-family--friends/infertility-etiquette.html

Um...

I say "um" a lot. And it turns out I'm not the only one.

I read a few articles about how it's common for English-speaking people to say "um", "er", "ah" while speaking... it's a way to continue what you are saying. It also turns out that it's common in may languages to have a sort of... um... filler between comments.

So... um... on that note, I present my next YouTube video. You will notice I say "um" a lot. It got on my nerves, so I... um... apologize.

Let me know how many "ums" you find... maybe there will be a prize.

REMEMBER... you can see links to all my videos if you click on the TTC button up top there.

First YouTube video!

I'm excited to present my first YouTube video.

It's about our journey trying-to-conceive so far... it's just to get you on the same page. 

I tried to keep it fairly short... but it is a five year history!

Enjoy and please subscribe to my channel so you can be updated on new videos!

Confessions of a Stay-At-Home Wife

Well... this is it. This is my new life.
I don't work outside the home. I am now a stay-at-home wife.

And that new role is very strange and difficult for me to get used to living. Prior to the wedding, I used the excuse of the "wedding coming up" to not get into a routine. And last week, I used the excuse of needing to "rest" after our trip to Nebraska for the wedding. But, I can't make excuses any longer. This is my new life... I have to get the hang of it.

So today I spent a good deal of time researching and brainstorming to finally develop a schedule for myself.

In my research, I came across so many great posts from women who were in the same situation and I felt some relief when I learned that they, also, had trouble settling into their new role (especially since I've worked my whole life so far).
If you think about it, when you work for a living (outside the home) you are working on someone else's schedule. You're suppose to show up at a certain time and accomplish certain tasks throughout the day before leaving at a certain time. The next day you do it again.
I got used to that.
Now, I can wake up whenever I want and do whatever I want. It's so easy to go crazy and, in the end, not get a damn thing done. I'm a smart girl... I could see how this much freedom can cause trouble!

So, I've created myself a system to follow. I'll be honest, I have no idea if it will work. Trying it for a while will help and I can always adjust and reformat this system to better fit.

First, I reviewed why I am staying home/what my purpose is in staying home. Then I made goals. Lastly, I worked out the details (mapping out my available time). I figured this out using this blog post from Pursuing Titus 2.

After realizing what I needed to do, I created a few ways to organize my days. I made myself a daily agenda (with checklists) to fill out everyday. I found SO MUCH inspiration for this checklist on Pinterest & other great sites.
I included a morning, afternoon and before bed checklist, menu planner, appointment reminder, exercise log and water intake log. A lot of this is necessary to remind me to do certain things in order to achieve my personal goals (having a clean house, taking care of myself inside & out and saving money).

And I updated a cleaning checklist (the older one was used when I worked full-time... now I do all the cleaning myself) to coordinate with my daily agenda.
Lastly, I made some goals for creating bags and accessories for my Etsy shop... which I'd like to open back up by the end of this week.

So, all in all, I think I'm ready to take this new life on. Again, I'll just see how my new tools work for me and make adjustments as needed. 

DOWNLOAD a PDF version of my daily agenda by clicking on the DOWLOADS tab.

LOVE MY DAILY AGENDA but want a customized one?
E-mail me and we'll work out all the details, including cost.

I LOVE MY HUSBAND (yes, I'm screaming)!

I'm sad. Nothing "happened" to make me sad... I just miss my husband.

He's in Mississippi helping out another site for the company he works for. And he's been gone since late March and he probably won't come home until May.
In fact, it makes me grumpy... grrr...

But, I did tell him to do it. It's good for him and helps his career. So I just need to endure.

I did (accidentally) find this list "100 Ways to Make Your Marriage Rock" on another website.

I'm tweaking it a little to fit my life. The main change is the writer is Christian and we are Pagan in this house... but trust me, no matter your religion, most of these can fit your marriage.

Here is my list!

1. Write them letters... on paper.
2. Go on regular date nights.
3. Write his name on lipstick on the bathroom mirror.
4. Revitalize the romance with intimate dates.
5. Be spiritual together.
6. Hide notes in secret places.
7. Go to bed at the same time.
8. Listen to music together (share earbuds).
9. Send him on a scavenger hunt in the house.
10. Buy gifts they will love.
11. Hide a treat in his desk.
12. Wear shirts that tell the world you love your spouse.
13. Praise your spouse to other people...
14. ... Let them overhear you.
15. Be best friends.
16. Sleep in his t-shirts.
17. Share decision-making.
18. Don’t nag each other.
19. Don't give the other a reason to nag.
20. Pick up your socks, hang your wet towels.
21. Renew your vows privately with whispers and memories.
22. Renew them publicly with cake and bubbly.
23. Fight naked.
24. Pick your battles.
25. Show her you love her and tell him you respect him.
26. Go away together at least once a year.
27. Frame your wedding vows.
28. Hang pictures of the two of you around your house.
29. Kiss in front of your kids.
30. Make his favorite dessert.
31. Make her favorite dessert.
32. Have pictures of just the two of you made.
33. Make sex a priority.
34. Spend time apart occasionally.
35. Learn to enjoy something he loves.
36. Learn to enjoy something she loves .
37. Surprise each other.
38. Meet each other at the door when they come home.
39. Dreamstorm (brainstorm about your dreams in life... out loud, together).
40. Text each other from across the room.
41. Be accountable to each other.
42. Set reminders on your phone to remember him/her throughout the week.
43. Call him right now and tell him you appreciate him.
44. Be affectionate.
45. Leave work and come home early.
46. Wash, vacuum her car. Keep it full of gas.
47. Clean out his truck. Help him wash it.
48. Give each other romantic coupons.
49. Engage every day in meaningful conversation.
50. Compliment each other.
51. Touch your spouse several times throughout the day.
52. Take one day a month to make your spouse your total focus.
53. Let each other sleep in.
54. Be spontaneous!
55. Argue fair: avoid these words “you always” and “you never.”
56. Kiss every day.
57. Find tangible ways to serve your mate without complaining.
58. Forgive quickly.
59. Be honest...
60. ... But not hurtful.
61. Get on the same page: plan your budget together.
62. Look your best as often as you can.
63. Get creative together!
64. Get out of debt (and stay out).
65. Laugh together.
66. Have a date night in.
67. When your together-BE TOGETHER (take a break from phones, technology, etc).
68. Talk about your favorite memories together.
69. Tell him he’s sexy just because.
70. Tell her she’s pretty, especially when she’s not feeling it.
71. Hell... tell her she's sexy too!
72. Make each other breakfast in bed (this works better if it's on separate days, LOL).
73. Do her chores for her.
74. Do his chores.
75. Get a couple’s massage or host your own privately.
76. Read a book out loud together.
77. Dance together.
78. Bring her/him a favorite drink during the middle of the day
79. Exercise together-hikes, bike riding, etc
80. Choose not to be annoyed by an irritating behavior/disappointment
81. Tell them a secret they don't know about you.
82. Thank your spouse just because, often.
83. Sit on the same side of a booth at a restaurant.
84. Lay in bed together and stare into each other eyes, without talking.
85. Learn something new together-take an art class, cooking lessons, etc.
86. Leave a sweet comment on the Facebook wall.
87. Teach your kids about marriage.
88. Stop what you’re doing, look them in the eye and listen to their answer.
89. Get sexually creative!
90. Support each other’s goals.
91. Know when to talk and when to not.
92. Consider counseling (even if there’s not conflict).
93. Give each other pet names (if you haven't already).
94. Bring her flowers.
95. Wear something he loves.
96. Wear something she loves.
97. Share furniture-sit in his lap.
98. Fight for your marriage.
99. Remember your spouse rocks-even when they don’t .
100. Be the one who is wrong for once... instead of the one who is always right.

LET'S TALK ABOUT :: m. ranae designs

I'd like to talk about my home business.

I design & sew bags, wallets and other accessories. Other stuff includes pouches, makeup bags, purses, lunch bags and other weird stuff that doesn't fall under the "accessories" title.

I've been working from home (not exclusively yet) since 2008. I sell on Etsy and in person (sometimes at a craft show).

Even though business has been slow this year (mainly because my production has been slow), I still love it and hope I'm making bags well into my 200th year.

I have an m. ranae blog you can visit, but I'm gonna stop posting there and post here exclusively. But you can still find me in a few other places on the web. Follow Me, Like Me and be my friend (even if you're not buying).

My Main Website

My Etsy Shop

Facebook

Twitter

Soon-to-be-former Blog

Boxy Cosmetic Bag - Tutorial Review

I love searching the internet for tutorials on how to make things... blame the Martha Stewart in me... I love glue, scissors and glitter.

So recently I made my mother a cosmetic bag and I decided to try a new tutorial.

This one was from Skip to My Lou. It's a great craft blog with tips, tutorials and other fun stuff. The tutorial was for a boxy cosmetic bag... it's like origami almost and when you're done, it's in a box shape.

Now this was an easy tutorial, but not for a new seamstress/seamster. This is best used by someone who's been around the sewing block. And the renegade in me didn't follow the instructions precisely. The changes I made include:

• I put a layer of interfacing on the outer fabric.
• I put a layer of fleece on the inner fabric.
• I cut all my seams with pinking shears.
• I added a little handle.

Overall, it was fun and created a nice bag. The blog has other fun tutorials (some recipes and others that don't involve sewing). So please check it out... and check back here... I'll be sharing more of my finds.

Ta-Ta for now.