Friday, July 14, 2017

Shadows & Sorrow - Part Three

Healing Through Our Miracle

This is part three of a three-part series about the loss of my twins in July 2014. You can read the details about my loss HERE. This three-part series is just my personal reflections on the events and the anniversary of my loss.

Click here to read part one or click here to read part two.

My husband and I have often wondered what would’ve happened to us if Lincoln had never come along. I became pregnant with him only 3 months after our losses. It definitely was not expected, especially since it took so many years and IVF in order to conceive the twins. But Lincoln… he just came out of nowhere. It may have seemed that he came at a very tumultuous time but I think it saved us. It saved us from the grief that was taking over our minds and bodies. 

Knowing I was pregnant caused me to focus on that and not my losses. Mainly, I focused on not losing Lincoln like I lost the twins. I couldn’t bear to lose another child, so I jumped into gear getting a Transabdominal Cerclage to protect against the incompetent cervix that caused me to lose my twins. That plan worked. I had a completely uneventful pregnancy with Lincoln and I made it to my scheduled c-section. Seriously… it was perfection.

I was traumatized, however. I was a wreck during my pregnancy… I over-analyzed every feeling I had and there were many moments of tearful agony. I did see a counselor through my entire pregnancy and it really did help. I also did a lot of grief projects like photography and journaling. 

As a couple, we also started projects and donations in memory of our twins. Anytime we can include them in our day to day lives it makes them more real. That may seem strange… you may be thinking “of course they were real.” But they were here then gone so fast… sometimes you feel like you may have imagined them. Thankfully, there is proof of them all around me. Proof that they did exist and touch our lives (and others lives). That proof is what I cling to. 

And I love to say their names. I love when others say their names. It causes my heart to swell, practically explodes. It means that they are not forgotten. Gone, but never, ever forgotten.

Siobhan Leannan Ashe Aramayo. Our beautiful little girl.

Ronan Orlando Grey Aramayo. Our beautiful little boy.

Siobhan & Ronan


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Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Shadows & Sorrow - Part Two

A Living Death

This is part two of a three-part series about the loss of my twins in July 2014. You can read the details about my loss HERE. This three-part series is just my personal reflections on the events and the anniversary of my loss.

If you missed part one, click here to read.

There was a time in my life when I thought I’d never have children. The infertility treatments weren’t working and we were running out of money. I had to start preparing my heart for empty arms. So finding out I was pregnant, with twins, was a dream come true. Cliche, I know, but it was. Stupidly, I assumed that pregnant meant I would bring home babies. It was a beautiful ignorance because I never worried while I was pregnant with the twins. I literally enjoyed every single moment. Once I said that I if I knew that I was going to lose the babies, I would still have wanted them. I still would have wanted to be their mother. That positive pregnancy test made me a mother. Finally.

Monday, July 10, 2017

Shadows & Sorrow - Part One

July is a Hard Month for Me

This is part one of a three-part series about the loss of my twins in July 2014. You can read the details about my loss HEREThis three-part series is just my personal reflections on the events and the anniversary of my loss.

It seems like as soon as the calendar changes from June 30th to July 1st the air around me starts to get thick with grief. Just the word “July” conjures up pain. My heart automatically starts to ache. I’m sure a lot of people have this happen to them… there is a time during the year that is your worst, your most painful. Mine is and forever will be, July. 

The Facebook “On  This Day” feature is wonderful, I truly enjoy seeing things I posted in the previous years. But the “On This Day” feature is awful during July. What’s funny is, I don’t avoid it. I still courageously click to see what happened on “whatever” July day it is. And I even read the text or look at the pictures. It’s painful, but I still do it. And after viewing those posts in July 2014, I feel sick, but I still do it the next day. I don’t really understand it. Sure it’s painful, but at the same time they, are my memories.

Friday, July 7, 2017

10 Favorite Cruelty-Free Brands

This post contains affiliate links, which means we receive a commission if you make a purchase using these links. It does not change your cost but helps support the work on this site.

I recently posted about how I went cruelty-free with my beauty and household products. In the post I talked about how much easier it was than I initially expected. You can read that post here.

Now I'd like to share with you 10 favorite cruelty-free brands. I've used theses few brands for a while and really like them... I barely remember what I used before I went cruelty-free.

Sunday, July 2, 2017

Fresh Peaches: Recipe Roundup

Ah! Summertime! One of the great things about Summer is the delicious fruits and veggies. One of the not-so-great things about Summer is watching my toddler refuse to eat those delicious fruits and veggies.
I love peaches. And peach flavored stuff! In fact, I could go for a frozen Peach Daquiri right about now. But that requires rum, which I do not have and I don't want to put pants on to go buy some. I recently bought some peaches for us to eat and **surprise, surprise** the toddler doesn't like them. He's nuts! Well, I had to come up with a way to finish these peaches off before they go bad. And I thought I'd share a few of the recipes I found on Pinterest to use fresh peaches.