Thursday, May 18, 2017

What We Do All Day Long (Just the Toddler and I)

When I first became a stay-at-home mama a few months back, I was desperate for a routine. It was very chaotic around here because we had just moved to New York from Florida. I was still unpacking and I was still trying to figure out what a stay-at-home mama did. My 22-month-old son and I were just a hot mess every day (waking up whenever, eating whenever, forgetting to change clothes, forgetting what damn day it was, and more). So my solution was a schedule including a morning and evening routine. And once we had a plan, everything was so much easier!

Thursday, May 11, 2017

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Loss & Heartache on Mother's Day

Sadly, Mother’s Day is full of painful emotions for me. Before I became a mother, I had trouble with the day because I’m estranged from my own mother. Even before I stopped talking to her, I had trouble picking out the right card. Mother’s Day cards are full of beautiful emotions about how wonderful your mother is and how much you appreciate her. I didn’t have a nurturing mother. Instead, I had a mother that would take but never give and there just wasn’t a card out there that said “thanks Mom for not sucking the life out of me… yet!” After we stopped talking, I then dealt with guilt on Mother’s Day. I knew I did the right thing, cutting off someone that was toxic, but society tells you that you’re supposed to love your mother, no matter what. Thankfully, that guilt has now passed, as I no longer worry about her. Now I am a mother and now I have my own experiences to cope with.
The first Mother’s Day I celebrated as a new mom, I had two babies growing inside me. Our girl and boy were expected that November and after spending years struggling with infertility, hating that I wasn’t a mother, I finally was a mom! It was a beautiful Mother’s Day filled with hope and love for the lives that we finally grew with the help of IVF. 

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

20 Facts About Me

Don't you just love randomness? I know I do. So here is a list of 20 random facts about me. If I had to do a list of 40, I'd probably bore you to death. Enjoy!

1. My birth name is Michelle. And a lot of people do call me Michelle. But a lot of people also call me by my nickname, Mara. Mara is a play on my first initial and last name (and I came up with it myself when I was hanging out with a group of people that had more than one Michelle in the group). Throughout this blog, I'll go by Mara.
2. I am the oldest of 9 kids. But it’s because my parents split up after having me and they went their separate ways and had other children with different partners. But… I’m still the oldest of them all.
3. I’m not a cat person. I try and I do love to pet them, but generally, I prefer the adoration that comes from dogs. Scratch that… now that I think about it… I love all animals! I don’t necessarily want to keep all of them in my home, but if I had space, the means and the help (especially the help), I’d probably rescue animals and give them lots of love.
4. I love carbs. I really do. The bad ones, especially. “Cake,” you say? I’ll be right over for a plate!
5. Just recently, because of our tight budget, I’ve discovered what color my natural hair is. Before, I had no clue! I’ve been dying it for so, so many years that I forgot. Turns out, it’s light, dirty brown (which explains why I wanted to color it in the first place).
6. I really love all colors, but my favorite is orange.
7. The first thing I ever sewed were clothes for my barbie doll. They weren’t great in any way, but I was so excited to create with my own hands. I’m sure this is where my lifelong love for crafting started.
8. At one point in my life, I didn’t want any kids. Then I met my husband and I suddenly wanted three. Now, I’d take any that are put in my arms because they are such wonderful creatures. We have even talked about fostering in the future.
9. As a couple, we have never owned a home. We’ve always rented. We’ve moved so much that it just didn’t make sense for us to buy. But we are seriously talking about doing it now that we live in New York because it’s great here (and the prices are good).
10. I am an introvert. But I try to not let it hold me back. Some people can’t even tell that I’m an introvert. I may be nervous about trying new things or meeting new people, but I still do it. However, my introverted self still avoids crowds.