Saturday, October 27, 2012

Ekeko Better Work His Mojo

Recently, my husband reveals that if I really want a baby then I need to find a miniature baby and give it to Ekeko along with an offering.

I was thinking the same thing you are readers... "what?"

He then points out the little porcelain man-doll-thing that his father brought to us when he visited this past December from Bolivia. I remember both of them explaining Ekeko way back then, but I had completely forgotten. In the past few weeks, I've been unpacking boxes from our recent move and Ekeko finally came out of the crumpled papers and into a place of honor in our home.

SeƱor Ekeko with my offering in his mouth.

So before I tell you what happened next, let me explain our little friend.
Ekeko is an icon of prosperity from South America. It's really popular in Bolivia and Peru and the way my father-in-law explained it, pretty much everyone has one in their home.
Ekeko has all kinds of things tied to him (money, food, a little house) and these things are suppose to be abundant in your home... IF you give Ekeko an offering. Yes, you have to suck up a little bit before he'll help you out.

So, back to my conversation with my hubby... he says I need to find a tiny baby to attach to Ekeko and then stick a cigarette or money in his mouth.
"Can it be a little print-out of a baby?" I asked.
"No, that doesn't count. It has to be a miniature baby."
I pressed on... "so if the baby is too big we might get a giant baby? That's not ok."
"Well I suggest you go to Dollar Tree and see if they have any babies."
"Yeah! I bet they have some that can be put on cakes for showers or something!" I now had a plan! If giving that little porcelain doll helps me get pregnant, then what was I waiting for!

The rest of the Caucasian babies.
It took a few weeks and a few stops but I eventually found a little bag of fair-haired Caucasian babes at Wal-Mart (my least favorite place in Hell). There were six in a bag for a $1 and even though they were really White, I knew I could take them home and darken their hair with a permanent marker.
So as soon as I got home, I found a brown marker and made one of the babies Hispanic. When you look close, you can tell this babe has had a bad hair-dye job.

I want to put some "Baby Got Back" message here... can't help it, I'm a jokester.

There wasn't a good place to attach the mini baby, so I just squeezed it in near the house Ekeko carries on his back. I also went to great measures to make sure that Ekeko only saw one baby. I don't want him to get the wrong idea and give us six babies at a time (or really six babies total). So I hid the other babies out of his sight... hopefully, he doesn't get wind of this blog post.

After strapping that baby on I put a $100 bill in Ekeko's mouth (we don't smoke) and looked him straight in his painted-on eye and said "Alright dude, I gave you a lot of money, so do your thing and give me a child!"

If you're laughing right now, that's okay. It's hard to tell how Ekeko is gonna spin this. At the worst it will be a waste of $101 dollars and the time it took me to shop for plastic babies and color their hair brown. Somewhere in the middle, Ekeko could have some fun with me and give me sextuplets with ginger hair.

And there is the best-case-scenario... Ekeko could come through (and my husband would be correct) and we can have a sweet little Hispanic baby just like I asked.

Two days away from testing... we'll see if he comes through.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Herbal Blast

I had a blast from the past today while I was organizing a box of "stuff." Almost none of this "stuff" was worth keeping and I have no idea why it's been around this long. But that is a whole other post.

Anyhow, amongst the stuff (ah, hell, let's just call it junk)... was a bunch of bottled herbal meds. Back when I was trying to conceive using herbals, I took a lot of this stuff daily.

Now if you've never heard of this way of TTC, then you'll think I'm crazy, but I'm not the first woman to do this crap.
And for some, it's worked!!

Just not for me.

I don't exactly remember my regimen or how much I took of what, but I can at least give you the review of what they can do.

From back to front, left to right, these are the ones I tried (and three not pictured):
  • Magnesium: I took this to relieve headaches. I've always had headaches due to hormones spikes & dips, so the magnesium helps a little. I also read that any magnesium deficiency is bad for you if you are TTC. So anty up!
  • Fish Oil: Fish Oil is just good for you! It can help with cancer, cardio health, mental health, Alzheimer's, Lupus and Parkinson's! I'm sure you've heard of this one before, so this was a big part of my regimen way back when. And now I'm wondering why I still don't take it...
  • Vitex/Chaste Berry: Vitex is popular option for infertility because it's suppose to help balance out any wacky hormones. Many people with PCOS have raved about it. It worked a little for me and definitely caused some of those hormone headaches I mentioned earlier.
  • Cinnamon: Many PCOS'ers use cinnamon to help with insulin resistance. It is similar to the popular PCOS drug, Metformin.
  • Soy Isoflavones: Soy Isoflavones has been called the herbal clomid. And it's taken in a similar manner, usually cycle day (CD) 5-9 then stopped for the rest of the cycle. If you take it the entire cycle it can do the opposite of what you want.
  • Evening Primrose Oil: EPO helps produce more fertile quality cervical mucus. EPO should only be taken from menstruation to ovulation. This is because EPO can cause uterine contractions in pregnancy.
  • Calcium/Vitamin D: These two are similar to the Fish Oil... they are both just plain-out good for you! And if you're trying to get pregnant, then you obviously want to be your healthiest.
  • Wild Yam: Some say that Wild Yam and help increase progesterone. And many others say that it doesn't. I took this for a while but then I switched to Natural Progesterone Cream.
  • Natural Progesterone Cream: I did have some luck and my period started a few times with this stuff. It's super thick and you have to rub it into your skin for like two weeks (I forget now, please look it up) and then stop. Then your period will start. And like I said... sometimes, mine did. It has also been used to prevent miscarriage.
  • Black Cohosh: This is used toward the beginning of a cycle to balance hormones (estrogen). It should not be used during the luteal phase because of possible miscarriage.
Now... listen carefully here... I am not a doctor! Don't be stupid and take all these pills just because I mentioned them in my blog. Many woman use these herbals sucessfully, but they use them correctly.
If you're interested in trying any of these, do your research!! I spent hours and hours looking up each of these to make sure I was taking them at the right time during my cycle and at the right dose. And there are still allergy issues! So don't be stupid.
If you have any concerns, talk to a doctor. A real one... not an internet one.

Ok, back to my organizing.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

What's Happening?


I haven't posted in a while and I figured it's time to wax into some poetry or something. Or not.

Well if you're following my TTC videos on YouTube then you know the gist of what I've been up to. We're trying to make a person! I will upload another video tomorrow so you can see where we are. Check out the videos if you're still behind!

Also I've been cleaning and organizing. We moved into this house in June and right after that we went to Nebraska for my cousin's beautiful wedding... so I didn't start any unpacking until after we got back.
My cousin and her new husband!

So I unpacked the basics and now I'm getting into a cleaning routine and organizing along the way.

We live in a small house. It's a three-bedroom brick and it's set on some nice land in the country... but it's small.

So I'm pulling out all the tricks for making it efficient and clean.

I've been tracking these improvements and over the next few weeks I'll share them here!

Otherwise, I'm just going to my doctor's appointments, cleaning, organizing and trying to conceive (again).

My two dogs (left to right) Hal the Shar-Pit and Cy the Bassett Hound. This is what we do every day... take a long walk to the mailbox & back. They love to go out and run around the place sniffing out critters.