Saturday, September 13, 2014

Week Three: Illuminate (gaining a new perspective)

This week's lesson is a little late because it has been raining so much!
But it was about gaining a new perspective. I had to walk 100 steps, stop and take a picture of wherever I ended up. I went downtown to take these pics.

Below are my pics and my journal entry "I am grateful for..."









It is hard to think about being grateful right now. I want my babies back. Not much else matters except them. Despite my loss, things can always be worse. My house could  burn down... but I'd let it burn if it meant I could have my babies alive. The only thing I can really be grateful for is my husband. I could not imagine going through this without him. There was a moment after I gave birth to my little boy, where I was bleeding quite a bit. So much that I passed out. My husband was terrified. We had just lost our little girl 12 days earlier, our little boy moments earlier and there I was bleeding too much. He was worried he was going to lose it all. When he told me this story (since I didn't remember much of that incident) I was terrified right along with him. It was bad enough to lose our twins, but I could not imagine losing my spouse too.
So I am grateful, for one thing, my loving husband... the father to my sweet babies. I'd let the house burn if it meant I could have him alive and with me through this awful grief.