Saturday, November 3, 2012

Cake of Defeat

Today I received a trifecta of bad news.

And even though any smart woman would prepare for the worst, I still was shocked.

Not only did I get a negative pregnancy test, but Aunt Flo showed up... and my HCG/Beta test results were less than 1ml.

My hubby and I had decided weeks ago that despite the news I was gonna be able to enjoy a little piece of paradise when I found out how our cycle turned out. I'm a big fan of cake, and since I've been on a low-carb diet for months, my choice was to be able to enjoy a piece of cake after hearing my news.

Days ago, I went to the bakery of our grocery store and purchased a single piece of cake, knowing the fate of our cycle would soon be revealed. I tucked it away in our fridge until the right moment.

But this morning, after receiving very bad news, I couldn't stand the thought of that cake.

I wanted so badly for it to be victory cake. I even picked out a tasty version so I could share the victory cake with my husband. In the end (and because I was hungry), I slowly ate my cake of defeat. It was tasty, I'm sure, but I barely noticed.

I'm waiting to hear from my doctor about where to go next. Minus the BFN, my cycle was perfect. I don't know how else to make it better, so I guess we'll try the same meds again and hope our timing works in our favor.

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